an old jeep that won’t start but magically moves

Dream Scene:

I am at the mall with Grandpa. He is on a tirade against people’s Christmas shopping. I can’t say I disagree with his intentions, but I feel sorry for his misguided motivations. He’s right in trying to enlighten but not to convert.

I meet a young [NAME REDACTED], and we talk about whether or not he’s into religion; he says hell no. I don’t recall saying anything to the effect, and it occurs to me that it is as hypocritical of me to crusade against religion as Grandpa’s crusade for it.

I have an old Jeep that won’t start but magically moves on its own. I’m trying to roll-start it by putting it in gear and then popping the clutch. I’m cruising a privileged area and people are laughing at me. I realize now how dumb it was to be so preoccupied with an engine when the vehicle was moving already – symbolic perhaps of my environmental concerns and the universe-at-large being that some things just cannot be forced, for a reason and probably for the better.

I go to visit my brother, who is black. He lives in a very high apartment building with only stairs central to the structure. There are many tightly arranged units, and when I get to his place, I have to squeeze through a tight space into his tiny place. His girlfriend is leaving him and taking her stuff, and I wonder how she’s getting all of it down the stairs.

I have thought long and hard about death